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Unmei~Destiny: Part 3
Now that the secret is revealed, can they survive the aftermath and what lies ahead?
He never came back to bed. The next morning, when she woke, he was asleep on the sofa. She covered him with a blanket and he didn’t even stir. So she left him like that and went into the room he’d given to her as a studio, to work on some of her jewelry. She still had to make a living; especially, she thought to herself, if he wanted her out of his life immediately and she had to make hasty decisions about what to do for her and the baby. Some semblance of normal life still had to go on, somehow.
She’d become absorbed in her work for nearly another hour, when a touch on her shoulder made her jump. He stood there, fully dressed and looking soberly at her. “Are you all right today?”
Their entire world as they knew it had been turned completely upside down, their relationship might be irreparably broken...but she knew he meant herself, physically. Ironically, she didn’t feel sick this morning; probably because the strain of keeping this gigantic secret from him was gone, even though the greater burden of what would come next still hung heavily over her. “Yes.”
He lifted his hand as if he was going to touch her again, but then changed his mind and let it fall to his side. “Have you eaten anything?”
She shook her head. Softly he told her, “You need to, Midi-chan. For...for the baby.”
Looking at him, he wouldn’t quite meet her gaze; it was as if he’d emotionally detached himself from her. She was surprised he’d voluntarily mentioned the baby, because when he’d said it, she’d seen only a mere flicker of...something...pass through his expression, and then this sort of dazed hollowness. Nodding, she turned back to her work.
He startled her again when she felt his fingertips brush her cheek. She turned back to him. “Promise me you’ll take care of yourself, Midori-chan. Please.”
When she only stared at him, somewhat dazed herself, he went on, “I have to go. But I’ll be back later tonight. I need you to be safe. I want you to be here when I come home. All right?”
Dumbly she asked him in Japanese, “You don’t want me to leave?”
“No.” He was very adamant. “No. Please don’t go.” He responded in Japanese, then more urgently in English. “Do you want to go away?” he asked, desperately.
What she wanted was more than he was mentally, spiritually ready to give her at this time. I want your love...I want your acceptance and your love, for this child. I want you to see what a miracle it is, what a blessing it could be, if you’d only let it...I want you to realize that our baby would never feel the way you did, because we would never allow it...I want you to realize what an exceptional, wonderful human being you are, and what a remarkable father you could be. She wanted to say all of those things to him but he was in such a precarious state as it was, he would be the one running if she told him any of that right now. So she just shook her head. “No,” she told him.
“You will be here?” he asked, sounding like a frightened little boy. She could so easily resent herself for making him relive his earliest trauma all over again, but if there was even the slightest chance for them, they would have to go through a lot worse before it got better. What doesn’t destroy us makes us strong. Gee, that was a cheerful thought...but there was a great deal of truth to it, she realized.
“I will be here,” she promised. For as long as it takes, she silently added. Unless it came to the point where she wouldn’t be able to endure any more. She prayed they would never come to that. Perhaps she should visit another shrine today. They could use all the help they could get, by divine intervention or otherwise.
Now that the secret is revealed, can they survive the aftermath and what lies ahead?
He never came back to bed. The next morning, when she woke, he was asleep on the sofa. She covered him with a blanket and he didn’t even stir. So she left him like that and went into the room he’d given to her as a studio, to work on some of her jewelry. She still had to make a living; especially, she thought to herself, if he wanted her out of his life immediately and she had to make hasty decisions about what to do for her and the baby. Some semblance of normal life still had to go on, somehow.
She’d become absorbed in her work for nearly another hour, when a touch on her shoulder made her jump. He stood there, fully dressed and looking soberly at her. “Are you all right today?”
Their entire world as they knew it had been turned completely upside down, their relationship might be irreparably broken...but she knew he meant herself, physically. Ironically, she didn’t feel sick this morning; probably because the strain of keeping this gigantic secret from him was gone, even though the greater burden of what would come next still hung heavily over her. “Yes.”
He lifted his hand as if he was going to touch her again, but then changed his mind and let it fall to his side. “Have you eaten anything?”
She shook her head. Softly he told her, “You need to, Midi-chan. For...for the baby.”
Looking at him, he wouldn’t quite meet her gaze; it was as if he’d emotionally detached himself from her. She was surprised he’d voluntarily mentioned the baby, because when he’d said it, she’d seen only a mere flicker of...something...pass through his expression, and then this sort of dazed hollowness. Nodding, she turned back to her work.
He startled her again when she felt his fingertips brush her cheek. She turned back to him. “Promise me you’ll take care of yourself, Midori-chan. Please.”
When she only stared at him, somewhat dazed herself, he went on, “I have to go. But I’ll be back later tonight. I need you to be safe. I want you to be here when I come home. All right?”
Dumbly she asked him in Japanese, “You don’t want me to leave?”
“No.” He was very adamant. “No. Please don’t go.” He responded in Japanese, then more urgently in English. “Do you want to go away?” he asked, desperately.
What she wanted was more than he was mentally, spiritually ready to give her at this time. I want your love...I want your acceptance and your love, for this child. I want you to see what a miracle it is, what a blessing it could be, if you’d only let it...I want you to realize that our baby would never feel the way you did, because we would never allow it...I want you to realize what an exceptional, wonderful human being you are, and what a remarkable father you could be. She wanted to say all of those things to him but he was in such a precarious state as it was, he would be the one running if she told him any of that right now. So she just shook her head. “No,” she told him.
“You will be here?” he asked, sounding like a frightened little boy. She could so easily resent herself for making him relive his earliest trauma all over again, but if there was even the slightest chance for them, they would have to go through a lot worse before it got better. What doesn’t destroy us makes us strong. Gee, that was a cheerful thought...but there was a great deal of truth to it, she realized.
“I will be here,” she promised. For as long as it takes, she silently added. Unless it came to the point where she wouldn’t be able to endure any more. She prayed they would never come to that. Perhaps she should visit another shrine today. They could use all the help they could get, by divine intervention or otherwise.
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I wanted to get part 3 up quickly because I was reading over this a couple of days ago (this story is already completely finished) and was trying to decide where, at least for the next little bit, to section it off. I was afraid if I include it with my planned part 4 (which is entirely from Gackt's point of view) it would be way too long, so you get an update from me on a weeknight! (Which, for me, is rare.) Part 4 hopefully in a couple of days! 
**Please note** I don't own any part of Gackt, his music, or his image...I just happen to be a fan whose own creativity is inspired by him as an artist. Thank you!
**Also enjoy my work, but if you take it and post it anywhere else I only ask you credit it to me. Please, too, don't alter it in any way. Thanks again!**
**Please note** I don't own any part of Gackt, his music, or his image...I just happen to be a fan whose own creativity is inspired by him as an artist. Thank you!
**Also enjoy my work, but if you take it and post it anywhere else I only ask you credit it to me. Please, too, don't alter it in any way. Thanks again!**
Comments5
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Hmm...ok, this is getting good. *damn* I mean, it's really good, but I need another addiction like I need another hole in the head. *lol* Keep up the good work! Ganbatte kudasai ne. 